Crying for days

This is totally off the subject of model horses and I find it quite important to post here.

I found out Tuesday of this past week that my mom had been sent to the hospital. Well in the time she was admitted till now, all I have been getting were updates from time to time. Well, Last night at midnight PST, The doctors called my sister and brother and told them that mom took a turn for the worst. Her body is slowly dieing and some parts are now shutting down. Her kidneys were already damaged when she was first found in her home by a neighbor. They don't think that she will last more than a few days at the most. So now I am sitting here, waiting to hear from my brother. When we were talking, he was trying NOT to cry, but I told him that no matter what he was to cry. That was our mom lying there in a hospital bed, dying. It pains me to know that I can't be out there for this, but I got to thinking about it and I want to remember my mom as she was before going to the hospital. I don't want the memory of her lying in a bed with IV's and tubes. It isn't so much as the money situation we are in, but the fact that it is the memory. I know I wasn't there when my dad passed away 1 1/2 years ago. But his death was a total surprise. Mom's is expected. Sometime this week I am going to try to find a good picture of both mom and dad and post it here.

Oh I can't go on for now, crying hard.